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“The art of life is to know how to enjoy a little and to endure very much.” — William Hazlitt

The weather is as impressively dank and grey today as it was clear and bright yesterday but in no way less impactful for that. I still noticed the word 'wow' come out of my mouth.

Our house is a bit of a mess after Easter lunch & dinner with the whole family. Today's mood is: 😱

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Hoppy Easter

Two Levels

Up top, someone hangs laundry. Down below, a dog leads three walkers. Nobody speaks. And nobody notices the sign on the wall. (It says “Goose Walk.” Probably unrelated.)

Sid

The sign says “Please Do Not Feed The Seagulls.” Sid read it. Considered it. Then landed on top of it. There’s always one. Knows the rules. Doesn’t care. Sid runs the harbour now.

Awaiting Instructions

SC32. Moored tight. Going nowhere. A ladder leads somewhere — nobody’s saying where. It’s all very calm. But something’s about to happen. Probably a sandwich.

Looking Again

I never stopped taking photos. I just kept finding new ways to look. Some days it’s colour. Some days it’s not. Some scenes are waiting to be noticed. Others shout without meaning to. What matters is the story — the quiet one, the one most people walk past. This space is where I try to tell those stories. With a camera. With a few words. And without ever pretending to know what it all means, or at least, not for certain. 

Stunning walk with my wife into the wilderness today. Glorious sunshine pouring down onto a few walkers and wild horses, the only inhabitants of the hills.

The house is asleep apart from me and the dog. The church gate creeks across the lane. Cars hiss past the corner. The washing machine gently churns. Everything can wait until it happens.

Remembering What I’ve Forgotten

I use AI. I remember that. But I can’t remember why. Still, I’m quite a clever chap. So I asked the kettle. It boiled, thoughtfully. But aside from a hiss of steam and a vaguely judgmental gurgle, it had nothing to offer. Which is fine, because I forgot what I asked it. (What day is it? – Sprocket) I enjoy walking. And while we’ve been in— Ooh, hang on. I wasn’t talking about that, was I? My memory. That was it. According to The Guardian, using AI is— Erm… (You were writing about toasters – Sprocket) Toasters? Was I? I can’t say for sure. Anyway, don’t use AI, folks. The Guardian says it’s why we can’t remember things. I’m fairly certain I forgot things before I started using AI — but I’m not sure. I can’t remember. I am a bloke who uses AI, It knows the square root of...

Great lake trip Yesterday with my relatives. Even though the weather wasn't great, we all had some special moments together. At the end of the day I was a bit tired but very happy with what we did.

The Canon 20D

Back in 2005, right before we left to visit my in-laws, I bought a Canon 20D with the Canon f/1.8 "plastic fantastic" 50mm prime lens (so called because it is basically made of plastic other than the lens elements). This lens takes spectacular photos with beautiful bokeh. I took a series of photos while at the in-laws in April of that year that are still some of my favorites to this day because of that lens.

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A lovely evening to grill dinner and then setup the fire pit to roast marshmallows for s’mores.

Opener Feels Like iOS

Opener is so integrated into the way I use my phone that I forget it's an app and not built into iOS. When you're browsing the web in your iOS browser and you come across a link you want to open, usually you have to copy and paste the address to get it into the app you want. Using Opener, you can go straight to the app from your browser or any app that allows sharing a URL. If, like me, you use an iOS browser other than Safari, Opener lets you send links to the browser of your choice. In fact it supports over 40 browsers! It's fully integrated into the share sheet and I have it at the top of mine. Out of the box it supports 240+ apps to include YouTube, Twitter, Ivory, Amazon, Spotify, Reddit and more. You can see a complete list on the developer's...

St Ives – The Non-Postcard Version

Here’s a photo I shot in St Ives, Cornwall. It’s my signature style. That is to say, verging on dark and gloomy. Possibly even miserable. But I enjoy the challenge of taking a beautiful scene and giving it the “grit” treatment. There’s something about black and white — the contrast, the mood — that hits different. It doesn’t just show the scene. It feels it. I could’ve gone the postcard route. The light across the sea was glorious. The sky was begging to be photographed properly. And maybe it was. But the more I looked, the more it pulled at something. Not just how it looked — but how it felt. That matters to me. More than it used to. I’m trying to inject more feeling into my photos. Not just composition. Not just light. But emotion. That’s partly down to this quote from Don McCullin: ““Photography for me is...

““If we can set aside the urge to declare what AI is—machine or mind, tool or threat—we may find ourselves better able to inquire into what we are. We can more clearly confront our own uncertainty, our own projections, our own needs, our own reluctance to linger in the unknown. That’s a gift of this moment that should not be squandered.”” — Robert Saltzman, The Rage to Conclude

Explosive Movements

It’s hard to write about a condition like IBS with putting folks off their dinner.  So I won’t. Much.  I scoffed down a Cornish pasty, Delicious — not dodgy or nasty. But now comes the farce: My tremendously gassy arse Is making the bathroom contrasty.

““Not one sound fears the silence that extinguishes it and no silence exists that is not pregnant with sound.”” — John Cage

““We may prefer to do almost anything other than take in information that could save us.”” — Alain de Botton

Getting ready for a family trip: Italian, Swiss and Polish relatives all together for a lake tour. 🌊

Gullmart: Open From Dawn ‘til Displeasure

The Herring Gulls of St Ives rise early. They do not wake. They deploy. By 6:30am, they’re out doing their shopping. Pacing the rooftops. Arguing over crisp packets. Examining chip wrappers for signs of leftover vinegar. One perched outside our window and screamed into the abyss. Either he saw his reflection or the Co-op didn’t have prawns. Hard to say. At 7:03am, a loud flapping signalled the opening of Gullmart — the coastal economy of shouting, strutting, and theft. By 8:00am, inventory included: • One half-eaten sausage roll • A polystyrene tray • Three cigarette ends • A disappointed tourist At 8:04am, they declared war on a bin.

Mostly cloudy Today. There's a good chance of rain during the next few hours. 🌧️

The Hat Theory of Non-Fiction

Non-fiction writing is often a bit dry.  Because we are writing about serious things. It needs proper details. Proper facts. And in the right order.  But while I’m influenced by writers like: David Abbott and Dave Trott I’m also influenced by Bill Bryson and Tom Sharpe.  When I considered this, an image popped into my mind.  I imagined reading about business while drinking tea from a huge urn with handles - and wearing a weird hat.  It got me thinking, what would blending the two styles together read like?  Straight to the point and hard-edged. While slapping a custard pie in the face on an over-pompous business person.  And the more I thought about it, the more I wondered what writing non-fiction in a blend of styles would read like.  And I’ve found a way to do it.  When I start writing, I put on a hat. Or more accurately,...

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Wilkes Street tunnel connects Union Street to Royal Street. It used to be a railroad tunnel and is now pedestrian traffic only.

NPD and NID - April 2025

The wife and I took a long weekend trip to North Carolina; to Chapel Hill, Durham, and Raleigh. She has a goal to see 50 new bookstores this year because she turns 50. So, I hadn't even planned to get a new pen or ink. But since we were in Chapel Hill, I just had to visit The NEW Crazy Alan's Emporium! Such a great little store in the corner of a strip mall. Tons of ink, huge selection of pens, and plenty of notebooks/stationery to choose from. Turns out they were having a sale on all Pilot pens; one of my favorite fountain pens is the Vanishing Point. So I felt obligated to add one to my collection. And since it was a new pen, I wanted a new ink to go with it. And, as part of the sale, I got a free Rhodia pad. So yeah, it...

Inside The Thought Reactor

Hello, this is Andy. I’m a tree logger blogger from Coventry, England. The Daily Malfunction is exactly that: a thought reactor. This is where all the bonkers stuff that pops into my brain gets logged before it combusts. Sprocket is my robot sidekick. He’s helpful — in the same way a spoon is helpful when you’re changing a tyre. He still believes our toaster is a rival thought reactor, and honestly, I’m starting to think it’s winning. He draws the cartoons. I scribble the prompts. He runs the Press. Sometimes backwards. Often before the ink is dry. Anyway, the point is, this blog is an experiment in creative impulse. Sprocket has impulses too. Mostly biscuit-related. There is a purpose to all of this. When I figure out what it is, I’ll let you know.

Welcome to The Malfunction Scribble

This is not a blog. This is a scribbled brain vent. A malfunctioning thought reactor. A biscuit-fuelled dispatch centre operated by a robot named Sprocket who doesn’t fully understand punctuation. Here you’ll find: • Short, surreal nonsense • Square black-and-white cartoons • Seagull tribunals • Possibly some poetry. We’re sorry in advance. There is no theme. There is no plan. There is only confusion. Welcome aboard. Published by Malfunction Press. No refunds.

MyApplications - An App for App Lovers

For the avid app collector there are a few tools available to help catalog and curate the assortment of programs that accumulate over time. You can use Apple's built in system report to get comprehensive information but it's rather dense and not illustrated. You can use an app like Apparency, but then you are limited to a single app at the time. MyApplications, available in the app store for 99 cents, serves as both a database and a launcher for your computer. The MyApplications general interface includes a count of the number of apps you have installed, 414 in my case. It breaks the apps down into publishers, for example I have 92 apps from Apple itself and six from the wonderful developer Sindre Sorhus. Apparently, many apps don't provide publisher information because I have a lot that are not listed. It also breaks the apps into categories such as...

For reasons of privacy, safeguarding and the General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR) this blog will refer to individuals by initials only and will keep all locations and recognisable organisation names anonymous.

He Wasn’t There

St Ives, Cornwall. Spring rain squalled in from the sea, just to make sure we were properly miserable. And since we’d only just arrived, it felt personal. Then I met this guy. What — you can’t see him? Well, his name is Cornish Bob. Used to be a fisherman. Until one day a seagull nicked his sou’wester. All he was left with? His sliders. Now he makes a living charging tourists £1 to take selfies with him. Seemed fair to me. I asked if I could take his portrait. ““Can’t mate,” he said. “I’d have to do it for everyone.”” Fair enough. So I took a picture of his now-famous footwear instead. He nodded. Or I think he did. It’s hard to tell when someone’s invisible.

So I’ve started a blog about my care and support work. I don’t know what form it will take but the only way to find out is just do it.

👋 Hello world…

Seagull Strike: Operation Flake & Grab

It was supposed to be a peaceful pasty moment. My sister Lynne, a woman of dignity and sound pastry judgement, had just unwrapped her lunch. We were seated, sea-adjacent, mist-kissed. The Cornish dream. Then — from the sky — he came. A seagull the size of a labrador. Wings like deckchairs. Eyes like judgement. With zero hesitation and terrifying grace, he dove, snatched a single, perfect bite from Lynne’s pasty — and left. No apology. No payment. Not even a wingtip raised in thanks. The audacity. The precision. The flakes. Lynne stared at the pastry, betrayed. I stared at the sky, searching for a tiny glint of gravy on retreating feathers. And the gull? He probably wrote about us in his blog.

The weather Today was better than expected. I did two long walks (more than 18k steps in total) and some shopping. Well enough. 👍

Not a very auspicious start to my use/ involvement with Minutiae. I keep missing the notifications! I mean it kind of doesn't matter but I love the whole idea and it's mildly frustrating to keep missing my chance to be involved.